Job Opening
- Part time, permanent
- Salary commensurate with skill.
Seeking person with good hands, strong thumbs.
Fondness for feet (though not in a kinky way) a must.
Some knowledge of foot anatomy helpful.
Reverence for the miracle of feet (mine in particular) crucial.
Proficiency in artful application of shea butter.
Indifference to condition of feet (as in no pedicure for four years) mandatory.
Must refrain from diagnosing bulbous lumps of cartilage at base of big toes
(as if I have never heard it before? as if a fat girl doesn’t know she’s fat?).
Special consideration to applicants who cup my heels like they are crystal goblets
Who hold my feet as they would a sacred amulet after praying for the soul of someone they love.